By RAHN ADAMS
Part I
(written before the war began early Saturday MLST*)
Donald Trump shits his britches, / and Franklin Graham merely giggles, / “Oh, just hold your noses, folks, / and pretend it’s chocolate pudding.”

The Donald puts his signature, / which looks like obscene squiggles, / on all the merch he sells, / like red MAGA hats, Chinese Bibles and white hooding.
On stage and behind the podium, / Don shimmies, shakes and wiggles; / if he didn’t play air-accordian so well, / you can bet the old Trumpster would sing.
The state of the onion is glassified, / the apple-polishing press corps signals; / his fragile ego’s a veil of tears, / and his id’s a mycologic no-good thing.
Donald Trump craps his pants, / and Stephen Miller giggles, / “Keep lying to those dumb [folks], sir; / they don’t know horseshit from hasty pudding.”
Continue reading SUNDAY VERSES: The State of ‘The Onion,’ Parts I & II (3/1/2026)










