{"id":3638,"date":"2026-03-01T12:20:41","date_gmt":"2026-03-01T12:20:41","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/gaillardiapress.com\/blog\/?p=3638"},"modified":"2026-03-01T17:24:28","modified_gmt":"2026-03-01T17:24:28","slug":"sunday-verses-the-state-of-the-onion-parts-i-ii-3-1-2026","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/gaillardiapress.com\/blog\/?p=3638","title":{"rendered":"SUNDAY VERSES: The State of ‘The Onion,’ Parts I & II (3\/1\/2026)"},"content":{"rendered":"

By RAHN ADAMS<\/strong><\/p>\n

Part I<\/p>\n

(written before the war began early Saturday MLST*)<\/em><\/p>\n

Donald Trump shits his britches, \/ and Franklin Graham merely giggles, \/ \u201cOh, just hold your noses, folks, \/ and pretend it’s chocolate pudding.\u201d<\/p>\n

<\/a>
‘THE ONION’ (1991), a watercolor still-life by Timberley Adams<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

The Donald puts his signature, \/ which looks like obscene squiggles, \/ on all the merch he sells, \/ like red MAGA hats, Chinese Bibles and white hooding.<\/p>\n

On stage and behind the podium, \/ Don shimmies, shakes and wiggles; \/ if he didn’t play air-accordian so well, \/ you can bet the old Trumpster would sing.<\/p>\n

The state of the onion is glassified, \/ the apple-polishing press corps signals; \/ his fragile ego’s a veil of tears, \/ and his id’s a mycologic no-good thing.<\/p>\n

Donald Trump craps his pants, \/ and Stephen Miller giggles, \/ \u201cKeep lying to those dumb [folks], sir; \/ they don’t know horseshit from hasty pudding.\u201d<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

* * *<\/p>\n

Part II<\/p>\n

(written late Saturday night MLST*<\/em>)<\/p>\n

We’re past the soup and the salad, \/ so let’s picture the second<\/em> cargo plane \/ full of flag-draped coffins being unloaded \/ on that dark tarmac at Dover AFB.<\/p>\n

They usually land after midnight, \/ and no photographs are allowed, \/ just one of the president’s salute \u2014 \/ the first time they arrive, that is, not the second,<\/p>\n

Or the third time, or the fourth, \/ and on and on and on \/ until the dying in those desert sands is finally done, \/ all while the lying pedophile golfs at Palm Beach.<\/p>\n

As far as he’s concerned, \/ it’s about the killings, yes, \/ those that he and his rich friends make \/ by procuring cheaper cuts of meat to feed into the ugly grinder.<\/p>\n

No, the only picture he cares about \/ is the big one \u2014 that of his bottom line \u2014 \/ not shots of the boys who die \/ or of the girls who cry because he has no shame.<\/p>\n

You know it’s fucking nuts, right? \/ That millions of us voted for him? \/ That some Christians still <\/em>think he’s their golden boy? \/ And now we know why Jesus wept.<\/p>\n

* * *<\/p>\n

*Mar-a-Lago Standard Time<\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

By RAHN ADAMS Part I (written before the war began early Saturday MLST*) Donald Trump shits his britches, \/ and Franklin Graham merely giggles, \/ \u201cOh, just hold your noses, folks, \/ and pretend it’s chocolate pudding.\u201d The Donald puts his signature, \/ which looks like obscene squiggles, \/ on all the merch he sells, … Continue reading SUNDAY VERSES: The State of ‘The Onion,’ Parts I & II (3\/1\/2026)<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-3638","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/gaillardiapress.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3638","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/gaillardiapress.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/gaillardiapress.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/gaillardiapress.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/gaillardiapress.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=3638"}],"version-history":[{"count":49,"href":"https:\/\/gaillardiapress.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3638\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":3688,"href":"https:\/\/gaillardiapress.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3638\/revisions\/3688"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/gaillardiapress.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=3638"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/gaillardiapress.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=3638"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/gaillardiapress.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=3638"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}